4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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