I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
