Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
