I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
