hotel room ftw
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
