I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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