my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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