I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
