Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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