I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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