You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
