so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
