why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
