Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
