His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
