I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
