Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
