I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
