this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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