i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
