If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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