is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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