dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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