Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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