Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
