just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
