Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
