fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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