I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
