I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
