I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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