I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
