Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Operation Purity has been aborted
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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