we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I need a burrito and a hug.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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