I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
well, you know. whores of a feather.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
