after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
