do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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