If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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