He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i drank out of a bidet.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
