I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
