Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need to calm my uterus...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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