Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
