I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I can't turn off my feet"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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