Do you still have your period?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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