I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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