i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
