guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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