i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
