this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize