Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
